Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Federerisms

Roger Federer is the #1-ranked player in the world, and even all-time tennis greats practically salivate while talking about his unmatched skills. So, I figured, why not honor his "otherworldly" powers in an appropriate, though tongue-in-cheek, manner?

Thus, in the tradition of Chuck Norris Facts (and Jack Bauer Facts), here begins the ongoing list of "Federerisms":


1) Rather than simply genuflect at Roger Federer's feet before a match, some opponents ask him to autograph their shirt... then they sign over the rights to their first born child.
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2) Roger Federer visited Graceland as a child. When he and his family exited, it was announced over a loudspeaker that "Roger has left the building."
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3) Bono asks Roger Federer for his advice on how to cure all the world's ills.
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4) Roger Federer doesn't need replay to challenge a questionable call, he simply rewinds the earth on its axis and plays the point again.
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5) When Roger Federer sweats (or cries), the drops that hit the court surface form into a pattern that some swear is the image of the Virgin Mary. Others say it's the image of Roger's mother.
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6) When asked what a person should do in order to attain total enlightenment, the Dalai Lama answered, "It's easy. Just ask yourself, 'What would Roger Federer do?' Then proceed accordingly."
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All for now. To be continued...

Read more!

3 Comments:

Blogger Jano said...

Hahahahaha...

Waiting for a second part

Fri Apr 28, 12:05:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Todd Spiker said...

Feel free to think out a few of your own and add them here, too. :)

Fri Apr 28, 10:20:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Macavity said...

7) On the seventh day, rather than resting, God created Roger Federer. He wished He'd done it earlier. It could have saved Him a whole lot of work.

8) Roger Federer is not subject to the laws of gravity. Gravity is subject to the laws of Roger Federer.

9) The following analogy has just been approved for inclusion in standardised aptitude tests:

Roger Federer's return is to someone else's second serve as Mike Tyson's right hook is to...
Answer: A Cheesestik

10) It is possible to do a deal with the devil - your soul in exchange for taking a set off Roger Federer. Some players think this is a worthwhile exchange.

Wed May 10, 12:21:00 AM EDT  

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