Federerisms

Roger Federer is the #1-ranked player in the world, and even all-time tennis greats practically salivate while talking about his unmatched skills. So, I figured, why not honor his "otherworldly" powers in an appropriate, though tongue-in-cheek, manner?

Thus, in the tradition of Chuck Norris Facts (and Jack Bauer Facts), here begins the ongoing list of "Federerisms":

1) Rather than simply genuflect at Roger Federer's feet before a match, some opponents ask him to autograph their shirt... then they sign over the rights to their first born child.
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2) Roger Federer visited Graceland as a child. When he and his family exited, it was announced over a loudspeaker that "Roger has left the building."
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3) Bono asks Roger Federer for his advice on how to cure all the world's ills.
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4) Roger Federer doesn't need replay to challenge a questionable call, he simply rewinds the earth on its axis and plays the point again.
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5) When Roger Federer sweats (or cries), the drops that hit the court surface form into a pattern that some swear is the image of the Virgin Mary. Others say it's the image of Roger's mother.
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6) When asked what a person should do in order to attain total enlightenment, the Dalai Lama answered, "It's easy. Just ask yourself, 'What would Roger Federer do?' Then proceed accordingly."
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All for now. To be continued...

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ATP Backspin 1Q Awards

I want to start off with a mention of the story no one is really talking about... yet.

Roland Garros is the only slam where Roger Federer doesn't head into play as the prohibitive favorite (last year's SF has been his best result), but he'll go to Paris in May as the current title holder at the other three slams. A first RG title would qualify Federer's current run as a non-calendar year "grand slam" for the seemingly Incomparable One.

Will he pull it off? The odds probably aren't with him on the red clay, especially if Rafael Nadal is healthy... but would you feel safe betting against him now that he knows what he has a chance to accomplish, and nearly two months to prepare himself for the attempt?

But that's a 2nd Quarter story. What about the 1st Quarter, you ask? Well, here you go:

**ATP 1Q AWARDS (Jan-Mar)**

==PLAYER OF THE QUARTER==
1.Roger Federer...unparalleled, but what's to be made of his troubles vs. his only real and consistent rival, world #2 Nadal?
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2.Tommy Haas...the talent has always been there (and he was ranked #2 in 2002). Healthy and in form, you'd be hard-pressed to find another player who often seems in less awe of Federer than Haas.
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3.James Blake...the best American player in the world? Only Roddick's ranking prevents the notion from being a foregone conclusion.
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4.Marcos Baghdatis...outside of Nadal (and maybe even more than the Spaniard, at times), the Cypriot is the biggest breath of fresh (and fun) air the men's game has seen in ages.
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5.Ivan Ljubicic...though he's still looking for that big run in a slam, the Croat is one of the most reliable players around, both on the ATP tour and (especially) in Davis Cup.
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HM- Andy Murray...San Jose (and wins over Hewitt and Roddick) signalled him as more than an annual Wimbledon novelty.
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HM- David Nalbandian...may even top Federer (blasphemy?) when it comes to being able to succeed on every surface. With his Australian Open SF, he's reached at least the semis at each of the four slams.
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==RISERS==
1.Marcos Baghdatis
2.James Blake
3.Tommy Haas
4.Ivan Ljubicic
5.Nikolay Davydenko
6.Nicolas Massu
7.Nicolas Kiefer
8.Igor Andreev
9.Xavier Malisse
10.Dmitry Tursunov

==FRESH FACES==
1.Andy Murray
2.Gael Monfils
3.Stanislas Wawrinka
4.Kristof Vliegen
5.Philipp Kohlschreiber

==SURPRISES==
1.Radek Stepanek
2.Luis Horna
3.Jarkko Nieminen
4.Christophe Rochus
5.Kevin Kim

==VETERANS==
1.Carlos Moya
2.Arnaud Clement
3.Jonas Bjorkman
4.John McEnroe
5.Fabrice Santoro

==DOWN==
1.Andy Roddick
2.Guillermo Coria
3.Andre Agassi
4.Robby Ginepri
5.Tim Henman

==TOP PERFORMANCE==
1.Federer wins Australian Open
2.Nadal def. Federer in Dubai final
3.Federer sweeps Indian Wells/Miami

==BREAKOUT==
1.Baghdatis reaches Australian final
2.Murray wins San Jose
3.Blake wins Las Vegas

==TOP MATCH==
Dubai F - Nadal d. Federer... 2-6/6-4/6-4. Nadal runs his career record to 3-1 vs. Federer, surging late in the 2nd and 3rd sets to swipe a victory and prevent a Federer three-peat in Dubai.

**NADAL, BAGHDATIS, MONFILS, BLAKE, HEWITT, RODDICK, HAAS, MURRAY...**
Suddenly, the ATP is full of personality. "New Balls," indeed.

**GONE, FOR NOW**
Suspended: Karol Beck, Mariano Hood, Robin Sweeting, Mark Nielsen

**GONE, FOR GOOD?**
Suspended (for 8 years): Mariano Puerta. The '05 Roland Garros RU would be 35 in 2014.

**ABOUT TO SAY GOODBYE?**
Gustavo Kuerten is still trying to make one more comeback attempt from his '04 hip surgery. He's played one match in 2006, and last won an ATP match at last year's U.S. Open (though he's won a few more since in Davis Cup). Meanwhile, Andre Agassi missed most of the 1st Quarter, after already saying he'd skip the clay season, with more trouble with that painful nerve in his back.

**BEWARE OF...**
1)flying rackets of Nicolas Kiefer (for Sebastian Grosjean)
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2.flying spit (for Lleyton Hewitt whenever he plays Juan Ignacio Chela... or he could just beat him, like he did in Melbourne in their first meeting since their Davis Cup "incident")
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3.the perils of marriage and fatherhood (for Hewitt again, a newcomer to both... and a potentially distracted 3rd Round loser in the Australian Open)
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**WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT**
Tommy Haas defeated Roger Federer in the pre-Aussie Open tuneup in Kooyang. Of course, it was an exhibition and didn't count. Haas still won two titles in the 1st Quarter, and has more reason not to be intimidated by the world #1.

**HE CAME BACK, AND HARDLY ANYONE NOTICED**
Pat Cash played doubles in Chennai (with an Indian player ranked #562) and lost his first match. He didn't play again. Hmmm... wonder if it has anything to do with the odd fact that the '87 Wimbledon champion's bio isn't listed amongst the other Open era slam winners in the ATP's Official Guide for 2006?

**HE CAME BACK, AND EVERYONE NOTICED...**
After a 12-year absence, 47-year old John McEnroe spent his birthday week winning the San Jose doubles title with Jonas Bjorkman. The title tied him with Tom Okker for second on the all-time doubles title list with 78, behind Todd Woodbridge's 83.

**...AND DID DOUBLE DUTY, TOO**
McEnroe made a call to Bjorn Borg, baffled by the five-time Wimbledon champ's decision to sell his Wimbledon rackets and trophies. Whatever he said (I wonder if the call started with, "Bjorn, you cannot be serious!"), it worked. Borg decided to keep his stuff, and largely credited Johnny Mac's call with causing the change of heart.

**HE'S COMING BACK, AND EVERYONE WANTS TO READ SOMETHING INTO IT**
Pete Sampras will play World TeamTennis for the first time this June, and has scheduled an exhibition match with Robby Ginepri this month. Sampras says he just wants to stay sharp, but with the spate of comebacks (most of them successful) in '06 who can begrudge anyone questioning whether or not this is a prelude to something more?

**WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR US LATELY? OH, YEAH.**
Flashy French vet Fabrice Santoro racked up his 400th career singles victory, and had his best-ever slam result -- a QF -- in Melbourne.

**SHOULD WE CALL YOU "MISTER Mahaviro?"**
In December, Paradorn Srichaphan spent one week living the life of a Buddhist monk in Thailand. His name during his sojourn was "Mahaviro."



**FAMILY TIES THAT BIND...AND TORTURE AND KILL?**
After another first week loss in a slam, slumping Andy Roddick fired his coach and installed his brother in the position... but continued to lose matches he shouldn't. Someone call Dr. Phil so he can help A-Rodd patch things up with Brad Gilbert. Quickly!

**WHO ARE THESE GUYS?**
Bjorn Phau and Guillermo Garcia-Lopez both defeated Andre Agassi in the 1st Quarter

**IF THEY THREW AN ATP EVENT IN LAS VEGAS (which they did)...**
...and Andre Agassi didn't show up (which he didn't), then did it really happen? Thanks to new Top 10er (and maybe soon-to-be-top-ranked American) James Blake... yes.

**SEE, HE'S HUMAN**
Federer shed Rod Laver Court tears when he received his Australian Open trophy from Aussie great Rod Laver.

**BEST THING ABOUT BAGHDATIS' AUSSIE OPEN FINAL RUN**
The joy and excitement he and his Cypiot contingent brought to every match in Melbourne, of course.

**THE SECOND BEST THING?**
Baghdatis' girlfriend Cammie Neviere, who brought joy and excitement to every match in Melbourne.



Hmmm, on second thought, maybe those last two should be switched.



And another thing,,,

Of course, if Federer DOES get that Roland Garros title, and then follows it up with a SW19 four-peat, the story will transform from "SwissSlam" and "RogerSlam" into whether or not he can win an ACTUAL GRAND SLAM in 2006! The last person to do that? Rod Laver in 1969 (he also did it in 1962!).

I'm just speculatin', now. Though with Federer, it might simply be called "long-term thinking."

All for now.

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March '06 Awards

==PLAYERS OF THE MONTH==
1.Roger Federer
2.James Blake
3.Ivan Ljubicic
4.Rafael Nadal
5.Paradorn Srichaphan

==RISERS==
1.James Blake
2.Ivan Ljubicic
3.Igor Andreev
4.David Ferrer
5.Dmitry Tursunov

==VETERANS==
1.Carlos Moya
2.Tim Henman
3.Paul Goldstein

==SURPRISES==
1.Radek Stepanek
2.Luis Horna
3.Kevin Kim

==FRESH FACES==
1.Philipp Kohlschreiber
2.Stanislas Wawrinka
3.Alex Bogomolov Jr.

==DISAPPOINTMENTS==
1.Guillermo Coria
2.Andy Roddick
3.Andre Agassi

==PERFORMANCES==
1.Rafael Nadal defeats Roger Federer for Dubai title
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2.Roger Federer sweep Masters events in Indian Wells and Miami
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==BREAKOUT==
Las Vegas - James Blake wins title after defeating Rafael Nadal and Lleyton Hewitt, and enters the Top 10

==SAD STORY OF THE MONTH==
Bjorn Borg decides to auction off his Wimbledon trophies

==SAVE OF THE MONTH==
After support from players such as Andre Agassi, and a persuasive conversation with a bewildered John McEnroe, Borg decides against parting with his silverware

==ROUND ROBIN==
Rafael Nadal knows how to beat Roger Federer. James Blake doesn't know how to beat Federer. But Blake DOES know how to beat Nadal.

==DRAFT PICK OF THE MONTH==
Pete Sampras was #1 pick in World Team Tennis draft

==GOING, GOING...GONE?==
Gustavo Kuerten, Andre Agassi?

==GOING, GOING...HOLD ON A MINUTE, NOT SO FAST==
Tim Henman

==ONE DOWN, ONE TO GO?==
James Blake passes Andre Agassi to become second-ranked American. Is Andy Roddick next?

==HEY, AREN'T YOU...?==
ATP player Evgeny Korolev, cousin of Anna Kournikova

All for now.

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