Federerisms: Wimbledon Special Edition

The beat(ing of opponents) goes on at the All England Club, so it's time for an edition of "Federerisms" with a decidedly SW19 flavor...


12. Apparently, there's a movement within the ATP tour to cede Federer a slot in the final before the tournament ever begins, as was the case with defending champions in "the old days." It's simply a way to preserve the flagging confidence and reputations of the rest of the players who aren't as adept on the grass courts as Mr. Federer. With the new/old system, only one man would have to suffer the indignity of being embarrassed by Federer in front of so many people.
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13. By royal decree, Big Ben will be renamed "Big Roger" for two weeks every year.
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14. Roger Federer stands a better shot at being the next King of England than Prince Charles.
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15. Is it a mere coincidence that the new "Superman" movie premiered the very same day that Roger Federer won his first match at this year's Wimbledon? I think not. By the way, has anyone ever seen Federer and the Man of Steel in a room at the same time?
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16. Centre Court will have a retractable roof in time for the 2009 Championships. It's unnecessary, though, considering Federer could just wish the clouds away with his mind if he so wished... something he's so far refused to do because he just doesn't want to have to spend his entire offseason bringing rain to all the drought-stricken regions of the globe. He's saving THAT work for his retirement years.
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17. The All-England Club pays rent to Federer.
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18. In return, the members get to play on his "personal" court... but only when Roger is in town to sit in the Royal Box to observe, just to make sure there aren't any shenanigans going on.
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19. Andy Roddick's already lined up an offseason job with the Club. He knows that's the only way he's ever going to be able to touch the big champion's cup as long as Federer is still playing on tour.
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For more: Federerisms and More Federerisms.

All for now. To be continued...

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